The past few days have been a roller-coaster. It has honestly been up and down with my mood and happenings, but to tell you the truth if it wasn’t for her i would probably would have got off and told the world to go fuck themselves. For those of you who don’t know, im talking about Jessica Grace Bell, and she is the person i care most for. The first time i ever saw her, she was just a cashier at dollarama, i was with my ex-gf. I was asked what i thought of the lip-ring Jessica was wearing by my ex as we were leaving and i replied “Yeah she looked hot, erm i mean it looked hot…” I was in the dog house for a couple hours after that. Unfortunately I didnt see her again for another year. Not until april 29th of 2013 when i went for my Induction at RONA. I walked into the room, sat down infront of my good friend Andrew and just started talking to him (as i hadnt seen him since grad). About 10 mins later, this gorgeous and stunning young girl walked into the room. We both kinda looked at her and agreed she was beautiful. As she strode in i hoped she would sit next to me, but she didnt XD she ended up sitting at the back of the room. Being totally washed over with fear and strange feelings i never had the nerve to talk to her that night. After that i only got glances of her as i left work and she came in to work (didnt even know our lockers where right next to each other :p) One day, our load out (for those of you who dont know what that is, a load out is someone who helps customers load and unload products into their vehicles, and also tends to trollies/carts in the parking lot) had called in sick. I had just been moved to customer service so i got the shitty straw being the only guy in C/S to pick up the load out duties. So i went round, helping customers tending to carts and thats when i saw her. Walking with a couple carts together down to the lumber till, not a care in the world when i saw Jessica stood behind the desk helping a customer. I (once again being the nervous idiot) couldnt even say hi, i just stared at her. In fact i was so busy being crushed with those strange feelings and looking at her i ran the carts right into the exit doors and made a fool out of myself. I quickly got my shit together and just about bolted out the door. I had no clue what was going on. Usually i was pretty good dealing and talking with woman, but for some reason i couldnt with Jessica. So as i rounded up the rest of the carts from the parking lot I decided to grow a pair of balls and that i would say hi or something XD I approached the door took a deep breath and hoped to god she was with a customer so i could give my self and excuse to walk away. But as god himself stepped in, she was just stood there looking a little down. I swallowed my heart and as i walked by said “Smile sweetheart, You brighten the place up when you do”. Jessica giggled and helped the next customer as he came along, smiling away as if it was going out of fashion. “Smile sweetheart, You brighten the place up when you do”? what the fuck was i thinking saying that. She probably thinks im a player. That was the exact thing that was going trough my head at the moment in time. So i ended up making an excuse to go down there and talk to her to try and pick up the pieces of my dignity that i left on her desk.
If you have read this far you are probably thinking that im an idiot XD or are questioning why i am telling you this story as to who i met Jessica. Its because those strange feelings i had? I never had felt with anyone else before. I still get them today when i talk to her or when she does something cute like send me a message while im at work to make sure im okay. Things with Jessica went along as they usually do, we started talking, texting after work, talking on the phone (first time we did, we actually stayed up till 4 or so in the morning talking and i had to work at 7 XD so she brought me coffee the next day to wake me up) hung out, just really started to connect. We both decided we didnt want anything serious. that we would just see what happened. As time when by, things grew and went from one thing to another. But the big problem was, i was on time limit. When her and i knew each other for a week or so, i found out i was being deported 2 months later. This probably caused to rush things alittle but it was going great. We slept at each others place, chilled with friends and went out on the town having a blast. But things started to get hard. Not between us, but in our lives. She lost her job, because of a stupid reason, I left because i couldnt believe what they had done and due to the heartlessness of the Assistant Manager. I was somewhat kicked out (I say somewhat because it was weird and kinda complicated) and ended up moving in with Jessica for the last couple weeks, and that was a big thing too for me, my time was running out faster then i knew. But in all honesty? the 2 weeks i lived with Jessica were probably a couple of the best weeks ill ever have in my lifetime. I wont spare you with the details of everything her and i did, because we did a lot in the time i had. First time she ever told me she loved me were in those two weeks. (well the first time she told me when she wasnt sleeping XD). We had just come home and she really wanted a fort. So as she made dinner, i grabbed everything i could (suit cases, boxes blankets and sheets) and made her this badass sheet fort with candles and friends on her laptop ready. But as we were eating dinner her landlords showed up and told her i had to leave the next day because i wasnt paying rent and we werent allowed in the same room (fucked up and kinda pissed me off as i explained my situation and they didnt give one fuck). Ive never seen Jessica as sad as she was that night. I laid her down in the fort held her tight and just comforted her. that night she told me she wanted to love me, and that she thought she did.
I ended moving back home again and just tired to be with her as much as possible. But it could only last so long. The night i left her? was the night i broke. Luke (best friend), his gf Nyssa and i dropped her off at her house. Said our good byes (she wrote in the little book she gave me which ill tell you about later) and i got back in the car. Those strange feelings? they are what broke me. I couldnt even get the keys back in the car to start it. Luke put his hand on the keys and i just dropped them and because a waterfall of tears and emotion. It was honestly one of the hardest things i have ever had to do so far.
Now we are 7000 miles away, and to tell you the truth, im glad that everything happened the way it did. I realized how much i really love her, because its true that you only realize what you had until its gone. Because of everything, i want to marry her. She is honestly the one person i believe to be my soul mate. As you read this i am most likely figuring out a way to propose to her, as i just want to be with her for the rest of my life.
Thank you for reading this if you have. Send me a message if you did
Sincerely Luke James Rush (no-vaca-ne.tumblr.com)
OH btw, if your wondering what she wrote in the book, here it is
”RONA….Thank you Dear Customer Service Boy I Need Load Out Till 12
I want you to cuddle me and kiss me in public and look at me like I’m the most important person to you but I also want you to pull my hair and breathe down my neck and fuck me until I can’t see or walk properly